In Western culture, particularly in American English, the word “actually” can sometimes carry a slightly confrontational or pedantic tone. It can sound like you are bluntly correcting someone (“Actually, that's incorrect”). In Chinese culture, 其实 (qíshí) serves a much softer, more harmonious function. It is deeply connected to the concept of 面子 (miànzi) - face, or social dignity. Using 其实 is a gentle way to present a contrasting fact without directly stating, “You are wrong.” Instead, you are framing it as, “Here is some additional information” or “The real situation is this.” For example, if a friend assumes you're an expert at cooking because you made one nice dish, you might say:
其实我不太会做饭。
(Qíshí wǒ bù tài huì zuòfàn.)
“Actually, I'm not very good at cooking.”
This isn't about proving them wrong; it's about humbly clarifying the situation and managing expectations, thereby saving face for both parties. It softens the contradiction and keeps the conversation smooth and harmonious, a key value in Chinese social interaction.
其实 is ubiquitous in daily conversation, from casual chats on WeChat to more formal discussions. It's almost always placed at the beginning of a clause, typically after the subject. The main uses are:
Its connotation is generally neutral and its formality is very flexible, fitting in both very informal and semi-formal contexts.