nǎlǐ nǎlǐ: 哪里哪里 - "You're too kind," "Not at all"

Keywords: nali nali meaning, 哪里哪里, how to respond to a compliment in Chinese, Chinese modesty, Chinese phrase for “you're too kind”, nǎlǐ nǎlǐ, nali nali pinyin, humble response, polite Chinese

Summary: Learn the meaning and cultural importance of 哪里哪里 (nǎlǐ nǎlǐ), the classic Chinese phrase for humbly deflecting a compliment. Literally meaning “where? where?”, it's the cultural equivalent of saying “Oh, not at all,” or “You're too kind.” This page explores how to use 哪里哪里 to sound polite and culturally aware, avoiding the common mistake of simply saying “thank you” to praise.

Pinyin (with tone marks): nǎlǐ nǎlǐ

Part of Speech: Interjection / Set Phrase

HSK Level: HSK 2/3 (colloquial)

Concise Definition: A polite and humble expression used to deflect a compliment, meaning “Not at all” or “You're too kind.”

In a Nutshell: 哪里哪里 (nǎlǐ nǎlǐ) is a cornerstone of Chinese conversational etiquette. While it literally translates to “where? where?”, it functions as a rhetorical question. By asking “where?”, you are humbly suggesting that you don't see the quality the other person is praising. It's a way of showing modesty and deflecting praise, which is a highly valued social grace in Chinese culture.

哪 (nǎ): A question word meaning “which?” or “where?”. It signals an inquiry.

里 (lǐ): Means “inside” or is used as a suffix for location words, like in `这里 (zhèlǐ)` meaning “here”.

When combined, 哪里 (nǎlǐ) becomes the word for “where?”. By repeating it—哪里哪里 (nǎlǐ nǎlǐ)—the speaker creates a soft, polite, and slightly emphatic expression of denial. It's less of an actual question and more of a formulaic way to say, “The compliment you've given me… where is it? I certainly don't see it.”

At the heart of 哪里哪里 (nǎlǐ nǎlǐ) is the cultural value of 谦虚 (qiānxū), or modesty. In traditional Chinese culture, and still very much today, openly accepting a compliment can be seen as arrogant or conceited. Instead of absorbing the praise, the polite action is to deflect it.

Western Contrast: In most Western cultures, the standard response to a compliment (“You have a lovely home!”) is a simple “Thank you!” This response accepts the compliment and shows appreciation. In China, while a simple `谢谢 (xièxie)` is becoming more common among younger generations, the traditional and safest response is to deflect with 哪里哪里. Saying “Thank you” might imply that you agree with the praise, which can feel immodest.

Using 哪里哪里 is a way to maintain social harmony. By downplaying your own strengths or achievements, you show respect for the other person and avoid making them feel inferior. It's a small but powerful tool for building good 关系 (guānxi).

Responding to Compliments: This is the primary and almost exclusive use of the phrase. Whether someone praises your Chinese skills, your cooking, your work, or your appearance, 哪里哪里 is a perfect response.

Formality: It's a very versatile phrase that can be used in both formal and informal situations. It's polite enough for a business dinner and common enough to use with friends' parents.

However, as a learner, 哪里哪里 is the most important one to master. It's universally understood and always appreciated as a sign of good manners and cultural understanding.

谦虚 (qiānxū) - Modesty; the core cultural virtue behind the use of `哪里哪里`.

过奖了 (guòjiǎng le) - A more formal and slightly more literary synonym, meaning “You have over-praised me.”

不敢当 (bù gǎndāng) - “I dare not accept (this praise)”; a very formal and humble response used for significant compliments.

没有啦 (méiyǒu la) - A modern, informal, and somewhat cute way to say “Not really!” to deflect a compliment. Popular among younger people and women.

还好啦 (hái hǎo la) - “It's just okay / It's alright”; a casual way to downplay an achievement or quality.

客气 (kèqi) - “Polite, courteous.” The act of saying `哪里哪里` is a form of being `客气`.

你太客气了 (nǐ tài kèqi le) - “You're too polite”; another way to respond to a compliment, essentially thanking them for their kind (but, by implication, overly generous) words.

献丑了 (xiànchǒu le) - “I'm about to show my ugliness/ineptitude”; a very humble phrase said *before* a performance (like singing karaoke or giving a speech) to lower expectations.