xiánqì: 嫌弃 - To Dislike and Avoid, To Disdain, To Scorn
Quick Summary
Keywords: xianqi, xiánqì, 嫌弃, how to say dislike in Chinese, meaning of xianqi, disdain in Chinese, to scorn, look down on, avoid someone in Chinese, 嫌弃 vs 讨厌, Chinese verb for disdain
Summary: Learn the true meaning of 嫌弃 (xiánqì), a common and powerful Chinese verb that goes beyond simple dislike. This page breaks down what it means to 嫌弃 (xiánqì)—to disdain, scorn, or look down on someone or something to the point of wanting to avoid or get rid of them. Discover its cultural nuances in family and social life, see practical examples, and learn the crucial difference between 嫌弃 (xiánqì) and 讨厌 (tǎoyàn) to sound more like a native speaker.
Core Meaning
Pinyin (with tone marks): xiánqì
Part of Speech: Verb
HSK Level: HSK 5
Concise Definition: To dislike and scorn someone or something as inferior, troublesome, or dirty, often with a desire to avoid or discard them.
In a Nutshell:嫌弃 (xiánqì) is not just “dislike.” It's a feeling of looking down on something or someone and wanting to push them away. Imagine finding a hair in your soup. You don't just dislike it; you feel it's disgusting, it has ruined your meal, and you want it gone immediately. That feeling of rejection and disdain is the core of 嫌弃. It implies judgment.
Character Breakdown
嫌 (xián): This character means “to dislike,” “to resent,” or “to find fault with.” It's composed of the woman radical `女 (nǚ)` and `兼 (jiān)`, which provides the sound. Think of it as a complex, deep-seated form of dislike or suspicion.
弃 (qì): This character means “to abandon,” “to discard,” or “to cast aside.” The image is of throwing something away because it's no longer wanted or useful.
Together, 嫌 (dislike/find fault) + 弃 (abandon/discard) create a vivid word: to dislike something so intensely that you want to cast it aside.
Cultural Context and Significance
In Chinese culture, which often emphasizes interpersonal relationships and face (`面子`), being the object of 嫌弃 is particularly cutting. It's a direct form of social rejection.
The term is frequently used within family dynamics. A traditional mother-in-law might 嫌弃 her daughter-in-law for not being a good cook. Parents might 嫌弃 their child for choosing an “unstable” career. This isn't just disapproval; it's a deep-seated feeling that the person's actions or qualities are a source of trouble or shame for the family.
Comparison to Western Concepts: While it's similar to the English “to scorn” or “to disdain,” 嫌弃 is used more commonly in everyday life and often relates to very practical matters. An American might “look down on” someone for their beliefs, but a Chinese person might 嫌弃 a friend for being a messy roommate or 嫌弃 a gift for being too cheap. The feeling is less about abstract social class and more about the tangible, bothersome qualities of a person or thing in a specific context. It's a very personal and direct form of judgment.
Practical Usage in Modern China
Serious Contexts:嫌弃 is a strong word. If someone seriously says they 嫌弃 you, it's a harsh criticism and a sign of a major problem in the relationship.
Example: In a failing marriage, one might say, “他开始嫌弃我了” (Tā kāishǐ xiánqì wǒ le) - “He's started to scorn/disdain me.”
Everyday Complaints: It's often used to describe disliking things for being old, dirty, or inconvenient.
Example: “我嫌弃这个手机太旧了，想换个新的。” (Wǒ xiánqì zhège shǒujī tài jiù le, xiǎng huàn ge xīn de.) - “I disdain this phone for being too old; I want to get a new one.”
Joking and Humility: Among friends, 嫌弃 can be used in a joking, hyperbolic way to soften a request or show humility.
Example: When offering a friend a simple, home-cooked meal, you might say, “随便做的，你别嫌弃啊！” (Suíbiàn zuò de, nǐ bié xiánqì a!) - “I just whipped this up, please don't scorn it!” This is a polite and common phrase.
Example Sentences
Example 1:
他总是嫌弃妻子做的饭不好吃。
Pinyin: Tā zǒngshì xiánqì qīzi zuò de fàn bù hǎochī.
English: He always scorns his wife's cooking, finding it unpalatable.
Analysis: This is a classic, serious use of 嫌弃. It's not just that he dislikes it; he looks down on her cooking ability, which is a strong criticism.
English: My mom bought me these clothes, so you'd better not turn your nose up at them.
Analysis: This is a defensive, slightly playful use. The speaker is preemptively telling the listener not to judge the clothes, perhaps because they are not fashionable.
Example 4:
我的猫很挑剔，它好像嫌弃我给它的猫粮。
Pinyin: Wǒ de māo hěn tiāotī, tā hǎoxiàng xiánqì wǒ gěi tā de māoliáng.
English: My cat is very picky; it seems to disdain the cat food I give it.
Analysis: This is a very common, humorous personification. The cat isn't just disliking the food; it's acting “snobby” about it.
English: I'm coming to stay at your place for a few days, you won't find me a bother, will you?
Analysis: A classic example of using 嫌弃 jokingly between friends. The speaker is asking for reassurance that they won't be seen as a troublesome guest.
`嫌弃 (xiánqì)` = to dislike + look down on + want to avoid. It implies the object of dislike is inferior, dirty, or troublesome. You cannot 嫌弃 the weather because it is not something you can judge as “inferior” and “discard.”
Incorrect: 我嫌弃下雨天。(Wǒ xiánqì xià yǔ tiān.)
Correct: 我嫌弃这双又湿又脏的鞋。(Wǒ xiánqì zhè shuāng yòu shī yòu zāng de xié.) - I disdain these wet and dirty shoes.
False Friend: Not Just “Dislike”
Do not simply translate “dislike” as 嫌弃. “Dislike” is almost always better translated as `不喜欢 (bù xǐhuan)` or `讨厌 (tǎoyàn)`. Use 嫌弃 only when the meaning of “scorn,” “disdain,” or “looking down on” is present.
Related Terms and Concepts
讨厌 (tǎoyàn) - A less intense term meaning “to dislike” or “to find annoying.” The most important term to distinguish from 嫌弃.
看不起 (kànbuqǐ) - A close synonym meaning “to look down on” or “to hold in contempt.” 看不起 often relates more to someone's ability, character, or social status, while 嫌弃 can also relate to things being dirty, old, or inconvenient.
鄙视 (bǐshì) - A more formal and literary synonym for “to despise” or “to disdain.” You'll see it in writing more than you'll hear it in casual conversation.
抛弃 (pāoqì) - The action that may result from 嫌弃. It means “to abandon,” “to discard,” or “to forsake” (e.g., to abandon a pet or a partner).
挑剔 (tiāotī) - To be picky or fussy. A person who is very `挑剔` is likely to `嫌弃` many things.
抱怨 (bàoyuàn) - To complain. You might `抱怨` about something you `嫌弃`, but complaining is the action of voicing displeasure, while `嫌弃` is the underlying feeling of disdain.
恶心 (ěxīn) - To feel nauseated; disgusting. This is the physical or emotional feeling of revulsion that often accompanies 嫌弃. If you 嫌弃 something, you probably also find it `恶心`.