yuèmǔ: 岳母 - Mother-in-law (wife's mother)

• Keywords: 岳母, yuemu, Chinese mother-in-law, wife's mother in Chinese, yue mu, Chinese family terms, 丈母娘, 婆婆, Chinese in-laws, family relationships in China
• Summary: 岳母 (yuèmǔ) is the Chinese term for a man's mother-in-law, specifically his wife's mother. This page explores the meaning of 岳母, its cultural significance in the Chinese family structure, and its practical usage in modern conversation. Learn the difference between 岳母 and the more colloquial 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng), and crucially, how it differs from a woman's mother-in-law, 婆婆 (pópó). This guide provides everything a learner needs to understand and correctly use this essential family term.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): yuè mǔ
• Part of Speech: Noun
• HSK Level: HSK 5
• Concise Definition: A man's mother-in-law; the mother of one's wife.
• In a Nutshell: 岳母 is the standard, and somewhat formal, term a husband uses to refer to his wife's mother. It signifies a respectful, established family relationship through marriage. While it's the “textbook” term, in daily life, more colloquial or intimate terms are often used.

• 岳 (yuè): This character's primary meaning is “high mountain.” Its use in “mother-in-law” comes from a fascinating story. In the Tang Dynasty, Emperor Xuanzong held a sacrificial ceremony at the sacred Mount Tai (泰山), which is also known as the “East Mountain” (东岳). He promoted his father-in-law to a high position during this time. As a result, people began respectfully referring to their father-in-law as “Mount Tai,” which was eventually shortened to just 岳 (yuè).
• 母 (mǔ): This character means “mother.” It is a pictograph of a kneeling woman, symbolizing her role as a nurturing figure in the family.
• Together, 岳母 (yuèmǔ) literally translates to “mountain mother.” This combines the respectful, honorific term derived from the father-in-law (岳) with the word for mother (母), creating the formal title for a wife's mother.

The concept of the 岳母 is deeply rooted in Chinese family culture, which traditionally emphasizes filial piety and respect for elders. The relationship between a son-in-law (女婿, nǚxu) and his mother-in-law is a crucial one that can significantly impact the harmony of the extended family. Compared to the Western concept of a “mother-in-law,” the Chinese 岳母 often plays a more integral role in the couple's life. It is common for the 岳母 to be heavily involved in major life decisions, such as buying a house, and to play a hands-on role in raising her grandchildren. In modern China, this has given rise to the phenomenon of the “丈母娘经济” (zhàngmuniáng jīngjì) or the “mother-in-law economy.” This refers to the social pressure where a prospective mother-in-law's expectations—that her daughter's future husband must own a car and an apartment—drive the economic behavior of young men, pushing them to work harder and save more before getting married. This reflects the 岳母's deep concern for her daughter's future security and stability.

While 岳母 is the correct and formally recognized term, its usage in daily conversation has nuances.

• Formal/Written Contexts: 岳母 is most often used in writing, formal introductions, or when speaking about one's mother-in-law in a respectful, slightly detached way. For example, you would use it when filling out a form or telling a new acquaintance about your family.
• Informal/Spoken Contexts: In everyday speech, it is far more common for a man to use one of two terms:

1. 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng): This is the most common colloquial term for one's mother-in-law. It's less formal than 岳母 but still perfectly respectful. It's the equivalent of saying “my mother-in-law” in a casual conversation in English.

  2.  **妈 (mā):** To show closeness and integration into the family, a man will often call his mother-in-law "Mom" (妈, mā) directly, just as he would his own mother. This is the warmest and most common form of direct address.

• Example 1:
  • 我明天要去探望我的岳母。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ míngtiān yào qù tànwàng wǒ de yuèmǔ.
  • English: I am going to visit my mother-in-law tomorrow.
  • Analysis: A standard, slightly formal sentence stating an intention. Perfectly correct but less common in casual chat than using 丈母娘.
• Example 2:
  • 这是我的岳母，李女士。
  • Pinyin: Zhè shì wǒ de yuèmǔ, Lǐ nǚshì.
  • English: This is my mother-in-law, Ms. Li.
  • Analysis: A classic example of using 岳母 in a formal introduction.
• Example 3:
  • 我岳母的厨艺特别好。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ yuèmǔ de chúyì tèbié hǎo.
  • English: My mother-in-law's cooking is exceptionally good.
  • Analysis: Here, 岳母 is used to talk about her. In the same context, 丈母娘 would sound more natural and conversational.
• Example 4:
  • 我丈母娘对我像亲儿子一样。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ zhàngmuniáng duì wǒ xiàng qīn érzi yīyàng.
  • English: My mother-in-law (colloquial) treats me like her own son.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses the more common colloquial term 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng), highlighting a warm, positive relationship.
• Example 5:
  • 妈，您尝尝这个菜！
  • Pinyin: Mā, nín chángchang zhège cài!
  • English: Mom, please try this dish!
  • Analysis: This shows direct address. A son-in-law would call his 岳母 “妈” (mā) to show respect and closeness. Note the use of the formal “you,” 您 (nín).
• Example 6:
  • 快过年了，我得给岳父岳母准备礼物。
  • Pinyin: Kuài guònián le, wǒ děi gěi yuèfù yuèmǔ zhǔnbèi lǐwù.
  • English: It's almost Chinese New Year, I have to prepare gifts for my father-in-law and mother-in-law.
  • Analysis: This shows the common set phrase 岳父岳母 (yuèfù yuèmǔ) to refer to one's wife's parents together.
• Example 7:
  • 为了买房，他承受着来自未来岳母的巨大压力。
  • Pinyin: Wèile mǎi fáng, tā chéngshòu zhe láizì wèilái yuèmǔ de jùdà yālì.
  • English: In order to buy an apartment, he is under huge pressure from his future mother-in-law.
  • Analysis: This sentence touches upon the modern cultural phenomenon of the “mother-in-law economy.”
• Example 8:
  • 结婚后，他跟岳母的关系一直很融洽。
  • Pinyin: Jiéhūn hòu, tā gēn yuèmǔ de guānxì yīzhí hěn róngqià.
  • English: After getting married, his relationship with his mother-in-law has always been very harmonious.
  • Analysis: A neutral, descriptive sentence suitable for written or spoken Chinese.
• Example 9:
  • 当我和妻子吵架时，岳母总是向着她女儿。
  • Pinyin: Dāng wǒ hé qīzi chǎojià shí, yuèmǔ zǒngshì xiàngzhe tā nǚ'ér.
  • English: When my wife and I argue, my mother-in-law always sides with her daughter.
  • Analysis: A sentence describing a common, slightly humorous stereotype found in many cultures.
• Example 10:
  • 我妻子常说，我对她妈妈比对她还好。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ qīzi cháng shuō, wǒ duì tā māma bǐ duì tā hái hǎo.
  • English: My wife often says that I treat her mom better than I treat her.
  • Analysis: This is how a man might talk about his 岳母 with his wife. Instead of saying “my mother-in-law” (我的岳母), he would more naturally say “her mom” (她妈妈).

• 岳母 vs. 婆婆 (The Biggest Mistake): This is the most critical distinction for learners.
  • 岳母 (yuèmǔ) is ONLY used by a man to refer to his wife's mother.
  • 婆婆 (pópó) is ONLY used by a woman to refer to her husband's mother.
  • Incorrect: A wife saying, “我的岳母今天来了” (My yuèmǔ came today). This is wrong. She must say “我的婆婆今天来了”.
• Formal vs. Everyday Use: Do not assume 岳母 is the primary spoken term. While understood, using 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng) in conversation or 妈 (mā) when speaking to her is much more natural and common. Using 岳母 in a very casual setting can sound a bit stiff or overly formal.
• Direct Address: Never address your mother-in-law as “岳母”. You would not walk up to her and say, “岳母，你好” (Hello, Yuemu). Before marriage, you might call her 阿姨 (āyí, “Auntie”). After marriage, you should call her 妈 (mā, “Mom”).

• 岳父 (yuèfù) - Father-in-law (a man's wife's father). The direct counterpart to 岳母.
• 丈母娘 (zhàngmuniáng) - A more common and colloquial term for 岳母.
• 婆婆 (pópó) - Mother-in-law (a woman's husband's mother). The female equivalent, used by the wife.
• 公公 (gōnggong) - Father-in-law (a woman's husband's father).
• 女婿 (nǚxu) - Son-in-law. This is what the 岳母 and 岳父 would call their daughter's husband.
• 岳父岳母 (yuèfù yuèmǔ) - A set phrase for “parents-in-law” (wife's parents).
• 丈人 (zhàngrén) - A colloquial term for one's 岳父 (father-in-law).
• 亲家 (qìngjia) - The term used by the parents of a married couple to refer to each other. For example, your mother would call your wife's mother her 亲家.