When combined, 拿不定主意 (ná bú dìng zhǔyi) creates a vivid mental image: you're holding a bunch of ideas or plans (`主意`), but you just can't nail one down (`定`).
In many Western cultures, particularly in business, decisiveness is seen as a key leadership trait. Hesitation is often viewed negatively. While decisiveness is also valued in China, expressing that you 拿不定主意 doesn't always carry the same negative weight. In certain contexts, it can signal thoughtfulness and a desire for consensus. Instead of making a rash, individualistic choice, stating you're undecided can be an implicit invitation for others (family, colleagues, friends) to offer their opinions. This aligns with cultural values that sometimes prioritize group harmony and careful consideration over swift, unilateral action. It's less about a character flaw and more about the process of decision-making, which is often seen as a collaborative or at least a deeply considered one. For example, when making a big family decision, a son or daughter might say they 拿不定主意 to their parents, which is a respectful way to solicit their wisdom and guidance.
This phrase is extremely common in everyday life and is used across all levels of formality, though it is most frequent in informal and semi-formal conversations.
The connotation is generally neutral; it simply describes a mental state. However, if someone is always in this state, they might be described as a person who “总是拿不定主意” (zǒngshì ná bú dìng zhǔyi - always can't make up their mind), which carries a slightly negative, frustrating tone.