dìnghūn: 订婚 - To Get Engaged, Engagement

• Keywords: 订婚, dinghun, get engaged in Chinese, Chinese engagement, engagement ceremony China, how to say engaged in Mandarin, 订婚 vs 结婚, 求婚, Chinese wedding traditions, fiancée, fiancé in Chinese
• Summary: Learn about 订婚 (dìnghūn), the Chinese term for getting engaged. This page explores its cultural significance, modern usage, and how it differs from a Western proposal. Discover how 订婚 is a crucial, often family-centric, step towards marriage in China, involving formal agreements and celebrations that go beyond a simple romantic gesture.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): dìnghūn
• Part of Speech: Verb, Noun
• HSK Level: HSK 5
• Concise Definition: To be formally engaged to be married; an engagement.
• In a Nutshell: 订婚 (dìnghūn) is the official agreement to get married. While a romantic proposal might start the process, 订婚 is the stage where the intent to marry becomes a formal, often public, commitment. It frequently involves the families of the couple meeting and giving their blessing, solidifying the union not just between two individuals, but between two families.

• 订 (dìng): This character means “to agree on,” “to book,” or “to subscribe.” The left radical `言 (yán)` means “speech,” indicating that this is a formal agreement made through words or a contract.
• 婚 (hūn): This character means “marriage” or “wedding.” The left radical `女 (nǚ)` means “woman,” reflecting the traditional view of marriage.

The characters combine literally to mean “to make an agreement (订) about marriage (婚),” which perfectly captures the term's meaning.

In traditional Chinese culture, a 订婚 (dìnghūn) was far more significant than a simple romantic proposal. It was a formal, binding contract between two families, often arranged by parents and matchmakers. The focus was on the merging of the two families, ensuring social and economic stability. Comparison to Western Engagement:

• The Proposal: In the West, an engagement typically begins with a surprise proposal (`求婚 qiúhūn`) from one partner to the other. This is a very individualistic and romantic moment. While modern China has adopted the romantic proposal, the 订婚 (dìnghūn) can be a separate, more formal event.
• Family Involvement: A Western engagement is primarily about the couple. Family is informed afterward. In China, 订婚 (dìnghūn) traditionally places immense value on family approval. It is often marked by a formal meeting or a banquet (`订婚宴 dìnghūn yàn`) where the parents from both sides meet, discuss the future, and give their official blessing.
• Formalities: The Chinese 订婚 (dìnghūn) can involve discussions about practical matters, including auspicious dates for the wedding, living arrangements, and even the exchange of traditional gifts like the betrothal gift (`聘礼 pìnlǐ`) from the groom's family to the bride's. This makes it a much more structured and formal step than its Western counterpart.

While modern couples in China have more autonomy, the essence of 订婚 (dìnghūn) as a serious, family-acknowledged commitment remains a powerful cultural norm.

订婚 (dìnghūn) is a formal term used in specific contexts related to the process of getting married.

• Announcements: It's the standard term to use when officially announcing your engagement to family, friends, and colleagues. For example, “我们订婚了！” (Wǒmen dìnghūn le! - We got engaged!).
• Social Media: Young couples will often post photos from their proposal or engagement party on WeChat or Weibo with captions including the word 订婚.
• Formal Conversations: When discussing marital status, 订婚 signifies a more concrete step than simply “dating.” It implies a definite plan to marry in the near future.
• As a Noun: It can also be used as a noun to refer to the event itself, e.g., “他们的订婚很简单” (Tāmen de dìnghūn hěn jiǎndān - Their engagement was very simple).

• Example 1:
  • 我们决定下个月订婚。
  • Pinyin: Wǒmen juédìng xià ge yuè dìnghūn.
  • English: We've decided to get engaged next month.
  • Analysis: A straightforward statement of intent. `决定 (juédìng)` means “to decide,” showing this is a planned event.
• Example 2:
  • 恭喜！你们什么时候订婚的？
  • Pinyin: Gōngxǐ! Nǐmen shénme shíhou dìnghūn de?
  • English: Congratulations! When did you guys get engaged?
  • Analysis: A common and natural question to ask a couple who has recently announced their engagement.
• Example 3:
  • 她手上戴着漂亮的订婚戒指。
  • Pinyin: Tā shǒu shàng dài zhe piàoliang de dìnghūn jièzhi.
  • English: She is wearing a beautiful engagement ring on her hand.
  • Analysis: Here, 订婚 acts as an adjective modifying “ring” (`戒指 jièzhi`). `订婚戒指` is the specific term for an engagement ring.
• Example 4:
  • 订婚之后，他们就开始计划婚礼了。
  • Pinyin: Dìnghūn zhīhòu, tāmen jiù kāishǐ jìhuà hūnlǐ le.
  • English: After getting engaged, they started planning the wedding.
  • Analysis: This sentence shows the logical progression from engagement (`订婚`) to wedding (`婚礼 hūnlǐ`).
• Example 5:
  • 双方父母见面，商量了订婚的事。
  • Pinyin: Shuāngfāng fùmǔ jiànmiàn, shāngliang le dìnghūn de shì.
  • English: Both sets of parents met to discuss the matter of the engagement.
  • Analysis: This highlights the crucial cultural aspect of family involvement in the engagement process. `商量 (shāngliang)` means “to discuss” or “to consult.”
• Example 6:
  • 他们的订婚宴会办得非常热闹。
  • Pinyin: Tāmen de dìnghūn yànhuì bàn de fēicháng rènào.
  • English: Their engagement party was held very livelily.
  • Analysis: 订婚 is used as part of a compound noun, `订婚宴会 (dìnghūn yànhuì)`, meaning “engagement banquet/party.”
• Example 7:
  • 他还没准备好订婚，因为他觉得压力很大。
  • Pinyin: Tā hái méi zhǔnbèi hǎo dìnghūn, yīnwèi tā juéde yālì hěn dà.
  • English: He isn't ready to get engaged yet because he feels a lot of pressure.
  • Analysis: This shows that 订婚 is viewed as a serious commitment that comes with pressure (`压力 yālì`).
• Example 8:
  • 虽然他求婚成功了，但他们还没有正式订婚。
  • Pinyin: Suīrán tā qiúhūn chénggōng le, dàn tāmen hái méiyǒu zhèngshì dìnghūn.
  • English: Although his proposal was successful, they haven't formally gotten engaged yet.
  • Analysis: This sentence clearly distinguishes between proposing (`求婚 qiúhūn`) and a formal engagement (`订婚`). The formal engagement might involve a family meeting or ceremony.
• Example 9:
  • 这对新人去年订婚，今年五月结婚。
  • Pinyin: Zhè duì xīnrén qùnián dìnghūn, jīnnián wǔ yuè jiéhūn.
  • English: This newlywed couple got engaged last year and married this May.
  • Analysis: `新人 (xīnrén)` can mean “newlyweds” or a couple about to be married. This example clearly separates the timeline of engagement and marriage (`结婚 jiéhūn`).
• Example 10:
  • 取消订婚对两个家庭都是一个沉重的打击。
  • Pinyin: Qǔxiāo dìnghūn duì liǎng ge jiātíng dōu shì yí ge chénzhòng de dǎjī.
  • English: Canceling the engagement was a heavy blow to both families.
  • Analysis: Shows the seriousness of breaking an engagement, emphasizing the impact on the families, not just the couple. `取消 (qǔxiāo)` means “to cancel.”

The most common mistake for learners is confusing 订婚 (dìnghūn) with similar-sounding concepts.

• `订婚 (dìnghūn)` vs. `结婚 (jiéhūn)` - Engagement vs. Marriage
  • This is the most critical distinction. 订婚 is the *promise* to marry. `结婚 (jiéhūn)` is the *act* of legally marrying. You 订婚 first, then you `结婚`.
  • Incorrect: 我們昨天结婚了，他给了我一个戒指。(We got married yesterday, he gave me a ring.) → This is wrong if you only mean you got engaged.
  • Correct: 我們昨天订婚了，他给了我一个戒指。(We got engaged yesterday, he gave me a ring.)
• `订婚 (dìnghūn)` vs. `求婚 (qiúhūn)` - Engagement vs. Proposal
  • `求婚 (qiúhūn)` is the action of *asking* someone to marry you (the proposal). 订婚 (dìnghūn) is the resulting state or the formal agreement of being engaged.
  • A man `求婚` to his girlfriend. If she says yes, they are now 订婚 (engaged). They might later have a `订婚宴` (engagement party) to formalize it with family.
  • You can't say “我昨天订婚她了” (I engaged her yesterday). You would say “我昨天向她求婚了” (I proposed to her yesterday), and as a result, “我们订婚了” (We are engaged).

• 求婚 (qiúhūn) - To propose marriage. The action that often leads to being 订婚.
• 结婚 (jiéhūn) - To get married; marriage. The ultimate goal of a 订婚.
• 未婚夫 (wèihūnfū) - Fiancé. The status of the man after 订婚. (Literally “not yet married husband”).
• 未婚妻 (wèihūnqī) - Fiancée. The status of the woman after 订婚. (Literally “not yet married wife”).
• 婚约 (hūnyuē) - A marriage contract or engagement agreement. 订婚 establishes a 婚约.
• 聘礼 (pìnlǐ) - Betrothal gift; bride price. A traditional gift from the groom's family to the bride's, often discussed during the 订婚 process.
• 订婚宴 (dìnghūn yàn) - Engagement banquet/party. A common way to celebrate and formalize a 订婚.
• 婚礼 (hūnlǐ) - Wedding ceremony. The event that follows the 订婚 period.
• 离婚 (líhūn) - To divorce. The legal dissolution of a marriage, the opposite of getting married.