qīguǎnyán: 妻管严 - Henpecked Husband, A Husband Strictly Managed by His Wife

• Keywords: qiguanyan, henpecked husband Chinese, wife controls husband Chinese, qi guan yan, 妻管严 meaning, Chinese slang for whipped, Chinese marriage culture, strict wife in Chinese, Chinese family dynamics,怕老婆, pa laopo
• Summary: 妻管严 (qīguǎnyán) is a popular and often humorous Chinese slang term for a “henpecked husband” or a man who is strictly managed by his wife. Far from being just a negative insult, this term reflects complex modern Chinese family dynamics, often used playfully to describe a husband who respects his wife's authority, especially in household and financial matters. Understanding “qīguǎnyán” offers a fascinating window into contemporary Chinese culture, gender roles, and the nature of marital relationships.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): qī guǎn yán
• Part of Speech: Noun
• HSK Level: N/A (Colloquialism)
• Concise Definition: A husband who is under the strict control of his wife.
• In a Nutshell: “妻管严” literally translates to “wife-controls-strictly.” It's a common term used to describe a household dynamic where the wife is the primary decision-maker and the husband happily (or begrudgingly) follows her lead. While it can be used to tease someone for being “whipped,” it's often used in a self-deprecating or even endearing way, suggesting a relationship built on respect for the wife's capabilities.

• 妻 (qī): Means “wife.” This character sets the context of the relationship.
• 管 (guǎn): Means “to control,” “to manage,” or “to be in charge of.” It's the same character used in a word like 管理 (guǎnlǐ - management).
• 严 (yán): Means “strict,” “stern,” or “severe.” It implies that the control is not loose or casual.

Together, the characters form a very literal and vivid picture: [Wife] [Controls] [Strictly]. It's a straightforward and powerful combination that leaves little room for ambiguity.

In traditional Chinese culture, influenced by Confucianism, society was strongly patriarchal, with the husband as the undisputed head of the household (一家之主, yī jiā zhī zhǔ). The term 妻管严 (qīguǎnyán) represents a significant and often celebrated departure from this historical norm. Its closest Western equivalent is “henpecked” or “whipped.” However, there's a crucial difference in connotation. “Henpecked” is almost exclusively negative in English, implying the husband is weak, miserable, and emasculated. In contrast, 妻管严 occupies a much broader spectrum of meaning in China:

• Humorous Teasing: It's a common way for friends (especially men) to joke with each other.
• Self-Deprecating Pride: A man might call himself a “妻管严” with a smile, framing it as a sign that he is a modern, enlightened husband who respects his wife. It can be a humblebrag indicating a stable and harmonious family life.
• A Sign of Trust: In many modern Chinese families, the wife manages the household finances. A husband being “妻管严” in this context means he trusts his wife's judgment completely. It's seen as a smart and practical arrangement.
• Regional Stereotypes: Men from certain regions, notably Shanghai and Chengdu, are famously and often proudly labeled as “妻管严.” It's become a part of their regional identity, associated with being good, family-oriented husbands.

The existence and widespread use of this term highlight the evolving gender roles in modern China, where women's economic and social power within the family has grown significantly.

妻管严 is a highly informal and colloquial term. You would never use it in a formal speech or a business setting.

• In Conversation: It's most often heard in casual chats among friends, family, and colleagues. A man might complain jokingly, “我老婆不让我去喝酒，没办法，妻管严嘛” (Wǒ lǎopó bù ràng wǒ qù hējiǔ, méi bànfǎ, qīguǎnyán ma - My wife won't let me go drinking, can't be helped, I'm a qīguǎnyán!).
• On Social Media: It's a popular hashtag and topic for funny videos and memes, often depicting humorous scenarios of a wife laying down the law.
• Connotations:
  • Negative: If said with a sneer, it can imply a man is spineless or weak.
  • Neutral: It can be a simple description of a family dynamic without judgment.
  • Positive: It can imply the husband is loving, respectful, and contributes to a well-managed, harmonious household. The subtext is often “a man who is a '妻管严' is less likely to cause trouble.”

• Example 1:
  • 他是我们朋友中出了名的妻管严。
  • Pinyin: Tā shì wǒmen péngyǒu zhōng chūle míng de qīguǎnyán.
  • English: He is the most famous henpecked husband among our friends.
  • Analysis: A simple, descriptive statement. The phrase “出了名的” (chūle míng de) means “famous for,” indicating this is a well-known fact about him.
• Example 2:
  • 我是妻管严，家里的大事小事都得听我老婆的。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ shì qīguǎnyán, jiālǐ de dàshì xiǎoshì dōu děi tīng wǒ lǎopó de.
  • English: I'm a man managed by his wife; I have to listen to my wife on all matters at home, big or small.
  • Analysis: This is a classic example of self-deprecation. The speaker is admitting his status openly, likely in a casual or humorous context.
• Example 3:
  • 别看老板在公司那么威风，听说他在家是个妻管严。
  • Pinyin: Bié kàn lǎobǎn zài gōngsī nàme wēifēng, tīngshuō tā zài jiā shì ge qīguǎnyán.
  • English: Don't be fooled by how impressive the boss is at the company; I heard he's a henpecked husband at home.
  • Analysis: This sentence highlights the contrast between someone's public and private persona. It's a common topic for office gossip.
• Example 4:
  • 很多女人觉得，男人有点妻管严是爱她的表现。
  • Pinyin: Hěn duō nǚrén juéde, nánrén yǒudiǎn qīguǎnyán shì ài tā de biǎoxiàn.
  • English: Many women feel that a man being a bit of a qīguǎnyán is a sign of his love for her.
  • Analysis: This shows the positive interpretation of the term from a female perspective. It frames the dynamic as an expression of love and respect.
• Example 5:
  • “今晚出来喝酒吗？” “去不了，我是妻管严，得按时回家。”
  • Pinyin: “Jīnwǎn chūlái hējiǔ ma?” “Qù bùliǎo, wǒ shì qīguǎnyán, děi ànshí huíjiā.”
  • English: “Coming out for drinks tonight?” “Can't, I'm a qīguǎnyán and have to be home on time.”
  • Analysis: A very common and practical use of the term as a convenient and socially acceptable excuse.
• Example 6:
  • 他每个月的工资都要全部上交，真是个标准的妻管严。
  • Pinyin: Tā měi ge yuè de gōngzī dōu yào quánbù shàngjiāo, zhēn shì ge biāozhǔn de qīguǎnyán.
  • English: He has to hand over his entire salary every month; he's truly a standard-issue henpecked husband.
  • Analysis: This links “妻管严” to a very specific, common behavior: the wife managing the family finances. “标准” (biāozhǔn) means “standard.”
• Example 7:
  • 你再这样下去，就真的要变成妻管严了！
  • Pinyin: Nǐ zài zhèyàng xiàqù, jiù zhēn de yào biànchéng qīguǎnyán le!
  • English: If you keep on like this, you're really going to become a henpecked husband!
  • Analysis: This is used as a lighthearted warning or tease to a friend who seems to be giving in to his wife or girlfriend's demands too often.
• Example 8:
  • 都说上海男人多妻管严，其实是他们尊重女性。
  • Pinyin: Dōu shuō Shànghǎi nánrén duō qīguǎnyán, qíshí shì tāmen zūnzhòng nǚxìng.
  • English: Everyone says that Shanghainese men are often managed by their wives, but actually, it's because they respect women.
  • Analysis: This sentence addresses the regional stereotype and reframes it in a very positive light, connecting it to the value of gender equality.
• Example 9:
  • 我爸就是个妻管严，我们家我妈说了算。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ bà jiùshì ge qīguǎnyán, wǒmen jiā wǒ mā shuōle suàn.
  • English: My dad is totally a qīguǎnyán; in our family, my mom has the final say.
  • Analysis: “说了算” (shuōle suàn) is a key phrase meaning “to have the final say.” This is a straightforward description of a family power dynamic from a child's perspective.
• Example 10:
  • 别嘲笑他妻管严，他的家庭可幸福了。
  • Pinyin: Bié cháoxiào tā qīguǎnyán, tā de jiātíng kě xìngfú le.
  • English: Don't laugh at him for being henpecked; his family is very happy.
  • Analysis: This sentence directly challenges the negative view of the term, suggesting that this dynamic leads to a happy and stable family life.

• False Friend Alert: The biggest mistake is to treat 妻管严 as a direct equivalent of the English “henpecked” or “whipped.” While they overlap, the English terms are almost always insults implying weakness. 妻管严 has a much wider range, including neutral description and even positive praise for being a modern, responsible husband.
• Don't Use It Formally: Never use this term in a business meeting, academic paper, or with people you don't know well, especially elders. It is strictly informal slang.
• It's Not Always Negative: A learner might hear the term and assume the husband is in a miserable, oppressive relationship. More often than not, it's used in jest or to describe a perfectly happy and functional partnership where roles are simply divided differently.
• The Pun: Be aware of the common pun. The pinyin for 妻管严 (qīguǎnyán) is identical to the medical term for tracheitis, 气管炎 (qìguǎnyán). A popular joke is for a man to cough and say, “Oh, my qìguǎnyán is acting up,” as a subtle, humorous complaint about his wife.

• 怕老婆 (pà lǎopó): Literally “afraid of wife.” A very close synonym and often used interchangeably with 妻管严. It's slightly more direct and perhaps a bit more negative.
• 气管炎 (qìguǎnyán): “Tracheitis.” Not related in meaning, but a famous pun due to its identical pronunciation. Knowing this pun is a sign of high cultural fluency.
• 耙耳朵 (pá ěrduo): A term from the Sichuan dialect, literally “rake ears.” It refers to a man whose ear is twisted by his wife as a form of discipline, and it has become the iconic Sichuanese term for a henpecked husband, often used with local pride.
• 大男子主义 (dà nánzǐ zhǔyì): “Male chauvinism.” This is the direct ideological antonym to the dynamic described by 妻管严.
• 一家之主 (yī jiā zhī zhǔ): “The head of the household.” The concept of 妻管严 playfully subverts the traditional notion that this role always belongs to the man.
• 女强人 (nǚqiángrén): “Strongwoman,” “superwoman,” or a capable career woman. The wife in a 妻管严 relationship is often perceived as being a 女强人.
• 家庭主男 (jiātíng zhǔnán): “House-husband” or “stay-at-home dad.” This represents an even more complete reversal of traditional roles than 妻管严 might imply.