fēilǐ: 非礼 - Indecent Assault, Improper Conduct, Breach of Propriety

• Keywords: feili, 非礼, what does feili mean, feili meaning, Chinese indecent assault, Chinese sexual harassment, improper conduct Chinese, Confucian propriety, Chinese social norms, 礼 (lǐ), 非礼勿视, Chinese etiquette.
• Summary: 非礼 (fēilǐ) is a powerful Chinese term that literally means “not propriety.” Rooted in Confucian philosophy, it originally described any action violating social etiquette. In modern Chinese, however, its meaning has narrowed and intensified, now most commonly referring to serious misconduct like unwanted physical advances, indecent assault, or sexual harassment. Understanding 非礼 is key to grasping the deep cultural importance of propriety (礼 lǐ) in Chinese society and recognizing a very serious social and legal boundary.

• Pinyin (with tone marks): fēilǐ
• Part of Speech: Verb, Noun
• HSK Level: N/A
• Concise Definition: To take indecent liberties with someone; to molest; an act that violates propriety or is grossly impolite.
• In a Nutshell: Imagine a very clear line of acceptable social behavior. 非礼 (fēilǐ) is not just stepping over that line, but jumping over it in a way that is offensive and often has physical or sexual connotations. While its classical meaning is broad (“improper conduct”), its modern, everyday meaning is strong and specific. If someone shouts “非礼!”, they are making a serious accusation, usually of being touched inappropriately.

• 非 (fēi): A character acting as a negative prefix, meaning “not,” “non-,” or “un-.” It's used to negate the word that follows it.
• 礼 (lǐ): A cornerstone of Chinese culture and Confucianism. It means “rites,” “propriety,” “etiquette,” or the entire system of social norms that ensures harmony and order.
• Together, 非礼 (fēilǐ) literally means “not in accordance with propriety” or “un-ritual-like.” The combination highlights an action that is not just rude, but a violation of the fundamental social code.

非礼 is deeply connected to the foundational Confucian concept of 礼 (lǐ). In Western culture, we think of “etiquette” or “manners” as polite social customs. However, 礼 is a much deeper concept, encompassing the entire framework of social hierarchy, ritual, and moral conduct that was believed to create a harmonious and stable society. An act of 非礼 was therefore not just a personal insult but a disruption of social order. This historical weight is still felt today, which is why the term carries such gravity. A useful Western comparison is the concept of “improper conduct” or “a violation of protocol,” but amplified with a strong moral and social dimension. For example, a soldier failing to salute a superior is a “violation of protocol.” An employee harassing a colleague is “improper conduct” or “sexual harassment.” 非礼 in modern China leans heavily towards the latter, but it carries the extra cultural weight of violating a deeply ingrained code of social harmony (礼). It's less of a legalistic term and more of a socio-moral one.

In modern usage, the broad, classical meaning has largely been replaced by a more specific and severe one.

• Primary Meaning: Indecent Assault / Harassment

This is the most common usage today. It refers to unwanted physical contact, groping, or molestation. It is a very serious accusation used in daily life, on social media, and in news reports about sexual harassment or assault.

• Connotation: Exclusively negative and very strong.
• Formality: Can be used in both formal (legal reports) and informal (shouting for help) contexts.
• Secondary Meaning: Grossly Inappropriate Behavior

In some contexts, it can describe behavior that is shockingly out of line, even if not physical. For example, making an extremely lewd or offensive joke at a formal event could be described as 非礼. This usage is less common and relies on context.

• Example 1:
  • 你放手！你这是在非礼我！
  • Pinyin: Nǐ fàngshǒu! Nǐ zhè shì zài fēilǐ wǒ!
  • English: Let go! You are molesting me!
  • Analysis: This is a direct and forceful accusation. It is something a person might shout to draw attention and get help in a public space.
• Example 2:
  • 他因为在地铁上非礼女性而被警察带走了。
  • Pinyin: Tā yīnwèi zài dìtiě shàng fēilǐ nǚxìng ér bèi jǐngchá dàizǒu le.
  • English: He was taken away by the police for indecently assaulting a woman on the subway.
  • Analysis: This is a typical sentence you would see in a news report. Here, 非礼 functions as a verb describing a criminal act.
• Example 3:
  • 这是一种严重的非礼行为，必须受到惩罚。
  • Pinyin: Zhè shì yī zhǒng yánzhòng de fēilǐ xíngwéi, bìxū shòudào chéngfá.
  • English: This is a serious act of indecency and must be punished.
  • Analysis: Here, 非礼 is used as a noun, modifying “行为” (xíngwéi, behavior/act). This phrasing is common in more formal or legal discussions.
• Example 4:
  • 我警告你，不要对我的朋友有任何非礼的企图。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ jǐnggào nǐ, bùyào duì wǒ de péngyǒu yǒu rènhé fēilǐ de qìtú.
  • English: I'm warning you, don't have any improper intentions towards my friend.
  • Analysis: This sentence uses 非礼 as an adjective to describe “企图” (qìtú, intention/attempt). It's a clear warning to back off.
• Example 5:
  • 子曰：“非礼勿视，非礼勿听，非礼勿言，非礼勿动。”
  • Pinyin: Zǐ yuē: “Fēilǐ wù shì, fēilǐ wù tīng, fēilǐ wù yán, fēilǐ wù dòng.”
  • English: The Master (Confucius) said: “Look not at what is contrary to propriety; listen not to it; speak not of it; make no movement contrary to it.”
  • Analysis: This is the most famous classical usage from the Analects of Confucius. Here, 非礼 has its original, broad meaning of “contrary to propriety.” While not common in speech, this quote is very well-known in China.
• Example 6:
  • 他被公司开除，因为他被指控非礼同事。
  • Pinyin: Tā bèi gōngsī kāichú, yīnwèi tā bèi zhǐkòng fēilǐ tóngshì.
  • English: He was fired from the company because he was accused of harassing a colleague.
  • Analysis: This shows a common real-world consequence of a 非礼 accusation in a professional setting.
• Example 7:
  • 我觉得他刚才看我的眼神很非礼。
  • Pinyin: Wǒ juéde tā gāngcái kàn wǒ de yǎnshén hěn fēilǐ.
  • English: I felt the way he was looking at me just now was very inappropriate/lecherous.
  • Analysis: This is a more subjective use, extending the meaning from physical action to a leering gaze (“眼神” yǎnshén). It shows how the term can describe the *feeling* of being violated.
• Example 8:
  • 在公共场合大声喧哗虽然没礼貌，但还算不上是非礼。
  • Pinyin: Zài gōnggòng chǎnghé dàshēng xuānhuá suīrán méi lǐmào, dàn hái suànbushàng shì fēilǐ.
  • English: Although being loud in public is impolite, it can't be considered an act of gross impropriety (feili).
  • Analysis: This sentence is excellent for showing the difference in severity between general rudeness (没礼貌) and the much stronger 非礼.
• Example 9:
  • 小说里的那个反派角色是个经常非礼妇女的流氓。
  • Pinyin: Xiǎoshuō lǐ de nàge fǎnpài juésè shì ge jīngcháng fēilǐ fùnǚ de liúmáng.
  • English: The villain in the novel is a hooligan who often assaults women.
  • Analysis: This demonstrates how the term is used to describe a character's immoral actions in media or literature.
• Example 10:
  • 如果你被人非礼了，一定要勇敢地站出来。
  • Pinyin: Rúguǒ nǐ bèi rén fēilǐ le, yīdìng yào yǒnggǎn de zhàn chūlái.
  • English: If you are indecently assaulted by someone, you must bravely stand up and speak out.
  • Analysis: This is an empowering sentence used in public service announcements or social discussions about protecting oneself.

• “Feili” is not just “Rude”: This is the most critical mistake for learners. Being impolite, such as cutting in line, speaking too loudly, or not saying “thank you,” is 没礼貌 (méi lǐmào). Accusing someone of 非礼 for such a minor infraction is a huge and incorrect escalation. 非礼 implies a severe violation of personal boundaries, often physical or sexual.
• Incorrect Usage:
  • He didn't hold the door for me, he's so feili!
  • INCORRECT: 他没帮我开门，真是太非礼了。 (Tā méi bāng wǒ kāimén, zhēnshi tài fēilǐ le.)
  • CORRECT: 他没帮我开门，真是太没礼貌了。 (Tā méi bāng wǒ kāimén, zhēnshi tài méi lǐmào le.)
  • Reason: Not holding a door is a minor lapse in manners (没礼貌), not a gross violation of personal propriety (非礼).

• 礼貌 (lǐmào): Politeness, manners. The everyday concept of being polite. Someone who lacks 礼貌 is “没礼貌”.
• 性骚扰 (xìngsāorǎo): Sexual harassment. A modern, specific, and legalistic term. It is often used interchangeably with the modern meaning of 非礼.
• 失礼 (shīlǐ): A breach of etiquette; to be impolite. A more formal and slightly more classical term than “没礼貌,” but still much weaker than 非礼. It means to “lose propriety.”
• 猥亵 (wěixiè): Obscene, lewd, indecent. This is a very formal, often legal, term used to describe indecent acts. A 非礼 action can be described as a 猥亵行为 (wěixiè xíngwéi).
• 流氓 (liúmáng): Hooligan, gangster, pervert. A noun for a person who might commit an act of 非礼. Calling someone a 流氓 is a serious insult.
• 规矩 (guīju): Rules, customs, social norms. The established “way of doing things.” A 非礼 action is a serious violation of social 规矩.
• 君子 (jūnzǐ): A gentleman; a man of virtue in the Confucian ideal. A 君子 would never engage in 非礼 behavior.